apostlemage:

pyramidslayer:

look what you can buy

There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.

apostlemage:

pyramidslayer:

look what you can buy

There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.

babylizard:

billhitchert:

billhitchert:

I just realized that “mini” is short for “minimal” and I feel like my whole life has been turned upside down

Wait that’s not even true it’s short for “miniature” FUCK MY LIFE

minimal golf. not too much golf. just enough golf so it wont piss you off.

(Source: billhitchert)

disneykin:

does anyone actually track their periods because i dont im too lazy and its just like this really terrible surprise that i dont want every month and me trying to convince myself that theres no way its been 4 weeks already

americansavior:

itsjustsatanthings:

cumber-bitches:

caswantsdeansassbutt:

cumber-bitches:

cumber-bitches:

I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.

omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven

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In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy. 

polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.

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this week on: britan thinks its special

Anonymous asked
Can you explain what cis means?

coolben94:

when the doctor slaps ur butt after ur born n they go, “it’s a ___!” ur just like “truuuu” 4 ur whole life

tympanista:

*comes to meet you at Starbucks 15 minutes late with Starbucks from another location*

clit0saurus-rex:

lononsense:

acatslifeforme:

tan-the-man:

themajesticalnarwhal:

He looks so strange without the mustache. 

You mean damn fine.

I love the picture where he is wearing the Pornstache t-shirt.

PORNSTACHE IS HOT?! DAFUQ?!!!

I FEEL SEXUALLY CONFUSED.

(Source: spilled-weed)